Domestic Violence: what you should know

Category: Opinion | Posted date: 2021-01-05 17:23:47 | Updated date: 2021-01-05 19:25:35 | Posted by: Bisola Adebayo


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Sometimes violence begins early in the relationship and at other times it takes months or even years to appear. But one thing is definite, there must be some warning signs


Domestic Violence: what you should know

Domestic violence is a social illness with ruinous consequences. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, regardless of age, race, sex, faith or class. Globally, victims of domestic violence are mostly women as they seemed to experience it most.

 

Domestic violence is an experience of abuse in marriage or cohabitation. It is any behaviour that intimidates, coerces, threatens or wounds a partner in marriage or cohabitation.

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Marriage and relationship experts around the world have really looked into the causes of domestic violence. Though they have discovered a few reasons, yet efforts are still earnestly on top gear to discover more as this menace seemed to be more rampant nowadays.

 

During Covid-19 lockdown in Nigeria, domestic violence was on the increase as the pandemic situation forced people to stay indoors.

 

I do question my head personally that why do we have domestic violence. Love is a beautiful thing, but love is nothing when it can’t endure the test of time. The same man that clammed to love you now turned to be the person that hates you most. The woman that wanted to see you 30 times a day in the past now turned to be a woman that doesn’t want to see you even around her a second anymore. Why?

 

The following are some of the causes of domestic violence: low self-esteem, desire for power or control, low or high academic achievement, cultural belief, mental illness etc.

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Low self-esteem: This is about self-condemnation—it is self-robbery. People with low self-esteem lack self-respect, confidence and satisfaction. Husband and wife are not necessarily to be on the same page socially, but they shouldn’t too far from each other. Both husband and wife should engage in whatever would bring development to them. This is one of the ways to prevent low self-esteem in the home. When both of them are not on the same page socially or academically, this can trigger violence in the home as one may find it difficult to cope with the other.

 

Desire for power or control: Desire for power or control in marriage is a quick invitation to disagreement. Domestic violence often occurs in marriage where one person has a desire for power or control over another. This, often time, is gender-based problem. Tussle for Power or control in marriage is always an invitation to disharmony or separation. Homes and marriages can only survive or run smoothly on the wheel of complements, not one-sided control.

 

Low or high academic achievement: High Academic attainment can be very expository which in turn attracts attentions of relevant or equivalent influences. Take for instance, a husband and wife were both college graduates when they got married and one of them is now a Masters’ degree holder while the other one is not interested in academic advancement, this could bring a great attack on their complement. It could breed disagreement and violence. Individuals who have poor academic achievement often battle with self-esteem issues.

 

Cultural beliefs: Many cultures have deep-rooted beliefs that men are superior to women. This is another gender-based issue. In some instances, those men may resort to domestic violence to gain control of their spouse or children most especially in the home or in situations whereby their women refuse to align with their beliefs.

 

Mental illness: This is another serious issue. When one is over stressed or laboured, such person may exhibit occasional aggression or imbalanced mental application. Global economy is in shambles setting people on serious fatigue before they can make ends meet. Homes and marriages, being the units of the society, are at the receiving ends of the heats. This also contributes greatly to the causes of the domestic violence.

 

However, Individuals who have been diagnosed with a mental illness, such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, may go through times of highs and lows when they are unable to control their anger. These people may become aggressive and abuse others.

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Domestic violence can be control or curbed if the following can be practiced:

  • Know the sign and don’t ignore it.
  • lend an ear.
  • Understanding your home and spouse.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone—white, black, young, old, rich, poor, educated or uneducated. We have heard of a State Governor beating his wife before.

 

Sometimes violence begins early in the relationship and at other times it takes months or even years to appear. But one thing is definite, there must be some warning signs.

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